Year: 2019 |Publisher: Headup/Game Fairy|Developer: MorbidWare |Original format: PC, Mac | Version played: Dreamcast
The way I see it, if you’re going to make a typing game, why not port it to the Dreamcast? The Textorcist: The Story Of Ray Bibbia is an indie game that originally released for PC and Mac in 2019 and is a devilish mix of bullet hell shooter and typing game. If you’ve played Sega’s inspired Typing Of The Dead then you know what to expect, so it’s easy to imagine this game working well on Dreamcast. But for the developer, and a solo developer at that, to actually follow that thought through and fully remake their game for Dreamcast, then professionally release a packaged version for sale… Well that’s so cool, I just had to buy it!
I’ve been aware of The Textorcist for a few years, long before it released on PC, and I always thought the idea was super cool. But, well, I just don’t enjoy sitting at a computer to play a game. Especially when I have to sit at that same computer all day long for work. But nipping up to the games room, sitting on a couch in front of a big CRT and with the Dreamcast keyboard in my lap like it’s 1999; that’s a different story altogether. It’s a more relaxing vibe and it’s easy to switch off from the stresses of the day.
So who is Ray Bibbia and what is his story? Actually, it’s not really that important to the overall game. Though made in 2019, The Textorcist has more in common with games from the Eighties. It handles its flimsy premise with a light touch, and the story is largely there to justify the visual theme and the crazy gameplay. Mr Bibbia is a priest who uses his holy powers to fight demons hiding in plain sight around the world, and there’s something about rescuing innocent people from said demons. But, I’ll be honest; I didn’t pay that much attention. In this game, it’s more fun to write the words than it is to read them!
You have to admire Ray Bibbia’s commitment to the bit. The whole game is controlled with the keyboard, you move Ray around with the arrow keys, and every interaction with the game world is conducted by typing in a key word at set points. In between the action stages you get to hang out in Ray’s apartment and test out the commands in a safe environment. Walk up to the phone and type ANSWER and he’ll pick it up and speak. Walk over to his generously sized bathroom and, yes, you can type in all manner of bodily verbs to make use of the facilities. It’s a nice touch that eases you in to the controls, and it’s a novelty that’s built on as the game progresses.
The meat of the game is in the action scenes, which are a real thrill to play. After a short adventure sequence in which you guide Ray around an area to investigate, in a sort of light point & click style, you’re thrust into a fight that feels a lot like a boss battle from a vertically scrolling shoot-‘em-up. As demonic projectiles fill the screen and move in definite, complex patterns, you use the arrow keys to weave around the bullets to keep Ray safe, and use the rest of the keyboard to type out the incantations found in his Bible-like holy book. Each word comes up one at a time and if you input an incorrect letter, you’ll be sent back one more and have to type them both again. Only once you’ve input a full sentence does the power of Christ compel you to shoot out your own counter attack at the demon.
There’s also a risk that you can drop your book: the source of your holy powers. Get hit by an enemy bullet and the book will fly out of your hands and land on the floor elsewhere. You can’t type the words if you don’t know what they are, so you’ll have to scuttle back over, walking through the line of fire, to pick it up again. I can’t think of many arcade games where you can become completely powerless if shot, but in this it really works and the balance feels spot on.
This tension between avoiding the bullets and shooting your own has worked perfectly in the shmup genre for decades and it works just as well here. It’s a tight risk-reward system that feels tense and dramatic in the moment, and makes The Textorcist fundamentally fun to play.
Intermission… Unfortunately, I couldn’t in all good conscience leave this blog post without talking about the bugs in the Dreamcast version of The Textorcist. There are quite a few hard crashes that can crop up during the game, as detailed over on the Game Fairy website, and although there are workarounds for each, it can be really frustrating when you’re caught out by one. Thankfully it sounds like the developer is working on a replacement version and in the meantime, the publisher is offering affected customers a free Steam code for the PC/Mac version of the game.
Doing all of this on a keyboard does add a welcome layer of complexity, though I suspect how much you gel with it may depend on your own typing skills and play style. Most of us can type pretty well, of course, but as I type this blog post I know my eyes can flit between the screen and the keys on an almost unconscious level. I don’t need to pay that much attention to the screen because I feel relatively confident Microsoft Word isn’t going to attack me mid-sentence, and at least on a laptop I can type with both my hands and the screen in the same field of view. Using a keyboard to play a game on a telly is a little bit more of a challenge… Especially when you also have to control a character at the same time. Ideally you’d always have one hand on the arrow keys and the other hand over the letters, typing with just your left hand while you nimbly weave through the bullets with you right. But in practice this is easier said than done. How many of us can confidently type with a single hand and not make any mistakes along the way?
The more likely strategy is that you’ll alternate between moving and typing. Dodge until you feel safe and then snatch some moments to type in as many words as you can. The impressive part is that it feels like the game designer has considered this in the attack patterns. The bullets are far from relentless, and attack more in waves, with equal moments of intense screen-filling terror and quieter periods where you might be able to tap out a few words in peace. Since you’re typing out complete, legible sentences, the words come in all sizes, so you might get lucky and tap out a few two-letter words now and then. There’s an undeniable feeling of satisfaction when you manage to crack out an uninterrupted sentence and if you manage to do this while standing in a tiny safe spot in the middle of a bullet curtain, you’ll feel more like a God than a priest!
Happily, The Textorcist is no one trick pony and it consistently finds ways to expand upon its premise. As well as varying the words in size, it also uses both English and Latin. The former are naturally easier to type but the latter are less familiar and demand a little more concentration. As the game progresses, it also finds ways to mess with the formula. One boss projectile vomits at you, and if you’re hit by the green bile it’ll temporarily turn all the words invisible, so you either have to remember what you were typing, take an educated guess, or wait for the puke to clear up. Another attack temporarily turns all the words upside down, which is just enough of a mind job to be a pain in the arse. One particular highlight is the battle that occasionally places time bombs on the stage, forcing you to cut away from the fight to disarm the bomb by typing DEFUSE before it explodes!
These little twists aren’t just about adding extra challenge; they can also turn the tables in your favour. There’s a great moment late in the game where typing an incantation transforms Ray into a winged demon and changes every letter key on the keyboard into a fire button that can directly shoot hellish bullets right at the boss. It’s a particularly empowering moment that feels like a big pay-off at exactly the right time.
Of course, not everyone may own a Dreamcast keyboard (though you can pick them up very cheaply) so the developers have also included support for a standard controller. When played like this, The Textorcist is quite a different experience. As you type each word, the UI displays two letters at a time that you can select with the trigger buttons. One is always the correct choice and the other is incorrect. As such, the difficulty isn’t that high. But I must admit that naturally controlling Ray with the thumb stick while simultaneously tapping out words felt fast, fluid and intuitive in a way that the keyboard controls don’t. In this mode it feels more like playing a shmup, and the balance between dodging and typing comes together a bit more naturally. I’d recommend that anyone playing The Textorcist actually play in both modes to get the most out of the game.
Playing in this way got me thinking though… Would it be possible to enjoy the best of both worlds; controlling Ray with a thumbstick while typing out on a keyboard? I remembered that the GameCube had this awesome keyboard/controller hybrid made by ASCII and designed for Phantasy Star Online players. Maybe if MorbidWare could spend two years porting The Textorcist to Dreamcast, they could do the same for GameCube too? For various reasons, I doubt very much that would happen. But maybe if I start to pray…
SIX LITTLE THINGS ABOUT THE TEXTORCIST: THE STORY OF RAY BIBBIA THAT I RATHER LIKED
1. While the script is mostly forgettable, it does occasionally have some fun with the theme. This one raised a chuckle.
2. There’s a section of the game where you have to type on Ray’s computer to search the net and solve a puzzle. It’s really well done; not too complicated but a fun novelty. Please excuse the blurry text. Unfortunately this part doesn’t display too well in S-Video.
3. The first real stage pokes fun at The Exorcist. I love the trail of vomit up the stairs and the subtle addition of the mop. It looks like a real inconvenience!
4. You’ve heard of Christian rock bands, but what about vegan metal?!
5. The packaging for the Dreamcast version is a real treat. The standard edition has a box design that resembles US Dreamcast games, while the limited edition, complete with soundtrack CD, looks like a Japanese box. It even includes a rather nice plastic outer sleeve that resembles the one that came with Resident Evil CODE: Veronica.
6. The soundtrack to The Textorcist, by satanic synthwave DJ Gost is so good. It kinda feels out of place for the theme… It’s more electronic than you’d expect from a game about priests and demons, but it’s a real banger that amplifies the arcade thrills. In parts it even sounds like a Bitmap Brothers game, which can only be a compliement. I swear I heat Speedball 2 in the track below!
Finally, how about some music from The Textorcist: The Story Of Ray Bibbia…
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